Art of the Introduction

How to introduce two people so that they both benefit

 

Intros are a science.  Making introductions the right way will massively increase utility between two people.  And doing it the wrong way can make one of the parties look bad or alienate one or both parties from you.

 

The following few paragraphs will take you through the best way to make an email introduction between two people.  Before we go through the mechanics, let’s first define the objectives.  As the introducer, your objective should be that you benefit both people you are introducing.  If it can only benefit one of the parties, you should not even bother.   At the end of the meeting, both parties should be happy you made the introduction, glad they met the other person, and thankful to you.

 

First, before you start, take your time.  Good introductions take time.  If done hastily, their impact will be minimal.   Take the time to really think why both parties will benefit from each other and spell it out in an email.  I’m sure we’ve all been victims of hastily written email intros (I recently got one that said "Auren/John – you two just HAVE to meet each other.   You two take it from here.")

 

A good way to go about it is to first email the more well-known person and ask for permission.   Make the case of why they should meet the other dude and ask them if it would be ok for you to introduce the two of you.  Usually it will work well but occasionally someone will say that they are too busy.  If that’s the case, you just saved both friends a lot of trouble.  You never want to make an introduction where both parties don’t immediately respond to each other ... that will make you look really bad.   When you email people, you want to make sure that the weight of your email encourages both people to quickly arrange a time to talk.  

 

Take the time of each person into account.   Suggest whether they should meet for lunch, coffee, over the phone, or just exchange emails.  Often people should just have a quick phone call and you don’t want to waste the time of one or both people by suggesting a lunch.    Be clear in your email introduction what the next action should be.

 

Rarely introduce your friend to someone just because your friend wants to meet her.  There needs to be an exchange of value between the two people ... they both need to come away with getting more value than their time is worth.  Proactively suggest who they might want to meet.  

 

Clearly give the location of each person.  If one person is in LA and the other is in NY, let them know.  Maybe they are going to be in the same city in two weeks and they can meet in person.  Or maybe they are going to arrange a call and they will now know what time zone they are in.  

 

Be sure to give their first and last name and a quick bio of the person.  I often get intros from people to jim@company.com – so I know the first name of the person is “Jim” but don’t know their last name and it makes it difficult to save the person’s contact information.  And a quick bio will go a long way in giving context.

 

If you know two people have met before, even briefly, mention it in the intro.  Often people forget brief meetings and you don’t want to embarrass one of them.   

 

Only forward emails that make the originator look good.  And, of you have to, edit the email before forwarding.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been introduced to someone by an introducer who forwards me a semi-confidential email chain that I probably shouldn’t see.  

 

 

If you are introducing single people of different genders, make sure there is no misunderstanding the intentions of the introduction.  If it is a business introduction, make sure you are clear about it.  You don’t want to create an embarrassing situation were people have misalign intentions.  

 

If the people use their assistants, then copy the assistants of both parties if appropriate. 

 

 

And overall, your goal should be that both parties leave the meeting with each other happy that you made the intro.   They need to BOTH get value from the meeting or you have failed.  But when you succeed, you have the potential to massively increase the happiness of both people.   An intro can be the best way to help people. 

airplanes are an efficient place to read

I always try to do the most efficient thing I can do in any location. On airplanes, reading is the most efficient thing to do. Sleeping on airplanes in almost always sub-optimal. Working on the laptop is good (no interruptions) but still doesn't hold a candle to reading. There is almost no plane I get more reading done on an airplane.

My strategy for a flight is like many travelers I know ... first I stock up on all the magazines I haven't read and a I pack a really heavy bag. I try to also bring a few books along. On the place I devour the magazines first the lessen my weight and then I move to the books ... always leaving behind what I finish (United Airlines has had dozens of books donated to it by me over the years).

(I've also found that a shady place on the beach is a fantastic place to read ... I had time to experience this over the holidays ... there is probably no greater vacation for me than reading under a palm tree on a hot day.)

value of soft assets

i have given a talk many times on the value of soft assets (connections, knowledge, and reputation).   

i gave the talk again last night to SD Forum (that Chris Yeh moderated) and many people emailed me for a copy of the slides.   here they are attached ...

Download connections_and_knowledge_sd_forum_070416.pdf

it is Jan 17 and i received another holiday card today

why send holiday cards 3 weeks late? at this point it might be better to send holiday cards for 2008 New years -- at least there's the novelty of being 11 months early.

buy time by skipping holiday parties

I thought I'd give myself more time to work in December (we're releasing some big products) so I consciously cut out holiday parties during the week. This was especially important this year since the holiday season started early due to an early Thanksgiving.

Now I love holiday parties … they're a lot of fun. But sometimes one has to cut out some hard stuff to buy time.

how much time did I gain thus far? I estimate a gain of 15-20 hours year-over-year (2006 to 2005 comparable). That's huge. … now I hope I don’t blow it watching all the Christmas spoofs on YouTube …

order your tasks by location

If you are like me and you keep all your home/work/life tasks in one place, you might want to consider ordering your tasks by the location you most efficiently can perform them in. Some tasks you can only do at one particular location (like I can only do laundry or dishes at home).

Some tasks, like business calls, can only be done during the day. other tasks are best done at night. some, like calling, are most efficiently done while you are driving (because you cannot do much else in the car). before driving on trips more than 30 minutes, you can have a call list of the people you want to call. sometimes, if it is a new contact, you can even pre-type the numbers in my cell phone so you don't have to fumble while in the car.

My personal secret is to have a list of tasks do to when I am on the phone. these are generally low-CPU tasks (like cleaning up my house, reordering my contacts, typing up a business card, and other mindless tasks). Whenever I get a call I immediately switch to my phone task list and start crossing off to-dos while jabbing away.

quick rules for email

some small things i do to increase my productivity and the productivity of others around me:

email:
- only check email once an hour (and turn off all email reminders) ... sometimes i submit to the guilty pleasure and check email every 30 minutes
- when i get an email, i reply right away.   
- jettison IM
- don't check email on my phone unless i need to.   
- respond to all emails before i go to bed every day.   never have anything in my in-box before i fall asleep.   (sometimes i respond to emails with a "i'll get back to you on tuesday on this")
- i try never to CC other people unless absolutely necessary.   it is unfair to waste their time.
- i speed read (or sometimes just delete) emails i am CCed on
- when i reply to emails, i try never to "reply all" as it is a waste of other's time.  i try to respond directly to the person were my email is most targeted.

meetings:
- i always try to have the minimum number of people from my company in mtgs.   if only one person is needed, then two never go.  big waste of time.   sometimes we determine that zero people are needed.
- phone mtgs are often better than in person mtgs.   

to do:
- i to do list everything.   in the last six months i have written and completed 4358 tasks ... that is about 24 tasks a day. 

other:
- jettison TV
- i try to be on-time to all meetings ... i want to respect the time of those around me
- I try to save time of those around you be not giving them things that are half-baked.   i try to communicate so there is not ambiguity so they're not doing double work.

(my biggest pet peeve: when someone does not respect my time)

 

The Monster is a Mouse

Scott Kirsner writes a great column in today's Boston Globe:
It's a scary time for Monster.com
(two small quotes from me in the article)

with the advent of meta listings sites (like SimplyHired) and more proactive candidate push sites (like WooMeNow and TheLadders) Monster is becomming less relevant to the passive job seeker.

and new services like H3 and KarmaOne are attracting the passive jobseeker that Monster has never been able to get its hands on.

connecting and dating...

After Fortune called me a "Corporate Yenta," people who never really understood what I do had a much better understanding...

My job is to set-up companies with business development relationships. It is basically the same strategy as setting people up on dates. My objective is to get enough interest that there is a second date. That is a success for me.

I know that not all my set-ups will result in marriage. But I want people to be excited to meet each other. The worst case scenario, like in dating, is when one of the parties calls me and says "what were you thinking!" luckily, that doesn't happen very often because it is common sense … you don’t want to set up a supermodel with an ugly, unemployed dude … unless, of course, he's unemployed because he just sold his Internet company for a billion dollars ... then it is ok if he's ugly ...

80% of New Employees Fail Within the First 5 Years

Michael Fitzgibbon passed on this great post entitled:
80% of New Employees Fail Within the First 5 Years

it is a great defense of entrepreneur ship and goes nicely with my notion that it is more risky not to take a risk.